Sunday, March 12, 2017

What LOVE Does Not Do...

What LOVE does not do...

Love...keeps no record of being wronged (NLT)
thinks no evil (NKJV)
[is not] resentful (ESV)
keeps no record of wrongs (NIV)

I know the feelings that are swirling around in our minds after reading the above...guilt followed by but, but...

I can hear comedians in my mind (I love standup :) ) going on and on about wives or girlfriends who forget to do something they said they’d do, but never ever forget any little thing the other person has done wrong, no matter how big or how small.  

I can remember the accusations of I’ve uttered that begin with “you always...”

I can recall the defensive phrase of “yeah, but you...”

So many times we say “I can’t trust you because...” yet, the truth of the matter is it should be restated, “I won’t trust you because...”  And yet, because of what we read in this section of the Bible, we find we are not even supposed to “go there.”  Once we have said to our child, spouse, coworker, friend, etc., “you are forgiven,” that is it.  We are not to bring up every time they left their socks on the floor, left their bed unmade, or showed up late to a meeting.  Not that we should not say something about this incident, but we should not bring up past incidents time and time again.  

Love thinks no evil.  We should not automatically go to the past when someone is late getting home or coming to a dinner or social engagement.  Anger should not be rising up as we wait.  When they get there, we will find out what happened.  We will not go down that neuropathway that is ready to accuse.  We will not think ill of the other person.  

Love is not resentful.  There are times when we are guilty of thinking about a coworker, “they get here late and do little work and then get the accolades.”  We are not to be resentful.  

When someone is rude behind the back of a supervisor, but always polite in front of them, we are not to be feed into resentment.  

When someone gets a good grade for little effort, we should not resent them.

When we allow resentment to grow in our minds, it influences our thoughts and decision-making.  There is no room for resentment in Love.  

As we go through the week, meditate on these verses of love.      

Ever dependent upon grace,
Cindy 

1 Corinthians 13:4-6New Living Translation (NLT)

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6New King James Version (NKJV)

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

1 Corinthians 13:4-6English Standard Version (ESV)

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

What Love Is Not (Part 4 of Love, what is it?)

What Love Is Not...

Love is not...irritable
                   ...provoked
                   ...easily angered

Irritable: Easily irritated or annoyed; readily excited to impatience or anger

Provoked: Angered, enraged, exasperated, or vexed.

Anger: Strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.

When I get the feeling of being “offended” it turns out I’m not living out love.

When I’m easily irritated, I’m not living out love.

When I’m impatient, I’m not living out love.

When I’m acting out on feelings of displeasure, I’m not living out love.

If I’ve been wronged, reacting belligerently is not love.

This is something I need to actively meditate on.  When reading social media and seeing how easily “offended” others are, I get so “irritated” by their silly offenses that I’m not living out love on my part because of my own irritability!

For years when reading these verses from First Corinthians, I read them and held up these standards for other people.  Beginning with my parents.  My parents are not living up to these standards, they must not love me.  Later, I would hold my friends up to these standards and, in my mind, I would tell myself they did not love me because they did not measure up to these standards.  Then, when I got married my husband too fell short of meeting these qualities of love.

One day, the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart that I needed to stop holding other people up to these standards.  I needed to look at myself as I read these Scriptures.  Wow!  I suddenly found the ability to extend grace to all of these other people.  Guess what!  I was not loving others either.  That was humiliating.  Even though I had not discussed any of these things with others, I sat humiliated before God because He knew my heart.  He knew I had held these standards to others even if they never knew.

Below you will find the verses once again.  Thank you for your patience in waiting for this blog entry as it has been two weeks since the last one.

Living grace-dependent,
Cindy

1 Corinthians 13:4-6New Living Translation (NLT)

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6New King James Version (NKJV)

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

1 Corinthians 13:4-6English Standard Version (ESV)

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Love, What Is It? Part 3

New International Version
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

New Living Translation
or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

English Standard Version
or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

Berean Study Bible
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs.

Berean Literal Bible
It does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek the things of its own, it is not easily provoked, it keeps no account of wrongs.

New American Standard Bible
does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

Holman Christian Standard Bible
does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs.

This week we are looking at the second part of verse 5.

Love is not self-seeking.
Love does not demand its own way.
Love does not insist on its own way.
Love does not seek the things of its own.
Love is not selfish.

Uh-oh...I am in trouble...and I know I’m not alone...Self-seeking...ugh.  I need to “find” myself.  I need to do what makes “me” happy.  Esteem, we are always seeking to bolster our own esteem, aren’t we?

Demanding and insisting on our own way is not love.  Ugh!  I have fallen short on this in towel situation.  A family member thinks they’ve done well for folding the towels.  But guess what!  They aren’t folded in a way that I want them folded so they will fit the way I want them to fit on the shelves.  My insistence in this matter is not loving, is it?

Posts on Facebook where we “brag” on a family member but the words “me,” “my,” “I,” and “mine” outnumber the mentions of whatever it is we are bragging about in the post.  Pretty selfish, huh?

Selfish:
devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself

I cannot even count the selfish thoughts I’ve had today.  I don’t even recall how many of thoughts I acted upon!  So selfish am I that I cannot begin to guess how deeply selfish I am.

Just today:
I was late on a commitment–selfish.
I didn’t put away my mat and weights until several hours following my workout–selfish.
I spent time on Facebook instead of getting started on this blog entry–selfish.
I got myself something to drink without asking anyone else in the house if they would like a drink–selfish.
I got myself some grapes without asking if anyone else would like to eat some grapes–selfish.
Pulling out all of my shirts from the closet I only put four in the give-away bag–selfish.  (Selfish in not donating more and selfish in not freeing up more closet space.)

How many more acts did I perform today that I did not even notice?  Hundreds, I’m sure.  Does that sound like an exaggeration?   Think of how many minutes are in the day...how many of those minutes were spent thinking about self, not too much of an exaggeration was it?

Love is not selfish.
Love does not seek its own wants and desires.
Love is not demanding or insistent on getting its own way.

I have a lot of work to do.  Thank God He is patient :)    


Saturday, February 4, 2017

Love - What Is It? (part 2)

Love - What is it, exactly?

I am not going to try to do the whole of verse 5.  I think I tried to cover too much when I shared verse 4.  I will probably go back to that at a later date and break it down even more.

Again, I’m sharing multiple versions of one verse (which I got from BibleHub.com) and sharing definitions of the words used each of the versions (which I got from Dictionary.com)

New International Version
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

New Living Translation
or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

English Standard Version
or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

Berean Study Bible
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs.

Berean Literal Bible
It does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek the things of its own, it is not easily provoked, it keeps no account of wrongs.

New American Standard Bible
does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

King James Bible
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Holman Christian Standard Bible
does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs.

Aramaic Bible in Plain English
Love does not commit what is shameful, neither does it seek its own; it is not provoked, neither does it entertain evil thoughts,

Rude, dishonor, improper, unseemly, unbecomingly, and shameful are examples of what love is not.  What do these words mean?

Rude
-discourteous or impolite - especially in a deliberate way
-rough in manners or behaviors, unmannerly, uncouth
-rough, harsh, or ungentle
-harsh to the ear

So we could say love is
-courteous or polite especially in a deliberate way
-mannerly
-cheerful, pleasant, gentle
-pleasing, calm, or kind to the ear

Dishonor
-lack or loss of honor; disgraceful or dishonest character or conduct
-disgrace; shame
-an indignity; insult
-cause shame or disgrace

So we could say love is
-honoring; graceful and honest in character and conduct
-graceful; without shame
-dignity; approving, kind, respectful
-causes no shame or disgrace
Improper
-not proper; not strictly belonging, applicable, correct, etc.; erroneous
-not in accordance with propriety of behavior, manners, etc.
-unsuitable or inappropriate, as for the purpose or occasion
-abnormal or irregular

So we could say love is
-proper; belonging; without error
-agreeable or correct of behavior, manners, etc.

unseemly
-not seemly; not in keeping with established standards of taste or proper form; unbecoming in appearance, speech, conduct, etc.
-inappropriate for time or place
-detracting from one’s appearance, character, or reputation; unattractive or unseemly

So we could say love is
-decent, fitting, of good taste; becoming in appearance, speech, conduct, etc.
-appropriate for time or place
unbecomingly
-adding to one’s appearance, character, or reputation; attractive or seemly

shameful
-causing shame
-disgraceful or scandalous

So we could say love is
-not causing shame
-graceful and not scandalous

This is huge!  There is no “except” in this verse!  Can you believe it?

We are not to be rude even if we are experiencing PMS or hot-flashes.  We are not to dishonor or be disrespectful even when we are irritable.  If someone is acting in a way that is unbecoming, we are suppose to answer in a way that is becoming.  When someone tries to shame us we are to answer with grace.

Wow.

When we fail and the Holy Spirit brings our response to our attention, what do we do?  Continue because it’s too late?  No.  We stop in our tracks.  We turn from that path and turn toward Jesus, to grace.  We extend grace.

Respect those with whom you disagree.
Speak honorably to those who are standing in line with you.
Speak kindly with those in the “other” political party.
Be polite to those of different religions.

This is love...

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Love - What Is It?

Rather than wallow in the discouragement I’ve been feeling from the posts I’ve been reading on social media, I have decided to go back to the missing ingredient of the posts:  Love.  

I’ve decided to read through the definition of Love.  This definition is found in 1 Corinthians in the 13th chapter.  I went to the Bible Hub website and looked at several English versions to help me to get a richer understanding of what Love is.  

–Just a note, I talked to one of my sons a few minutes ago to ask him what he thinks love is.  He said that “love is and love isn’t.”  When I asked him to explain that to me, he mentioned that people are “looking for love...”  Without him realizing it, he stated the biggest problem that we are dealing with in the world today.  We are “looking” for love when we need to “be” love.– 

How is that possible to “be” love?  Let’s take a look at definition together and see what it says.  Maybe we can commit to an aspect of the definition and determine to “be” that.  

Here we go...

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Aramaic Bible in Plain English
4Love is patient and sweet; love does not envy; love is not upset neither puffed up. 
5Love does not commit what is shameful, neither does it seek its own; it is not provoked, neither does it entertain evil thoughts, 
6Rejoices not in evil, but rejoices in the truth, 
7Endures all things, believes all things, hopes all, bears all.

King James 2000
The Qualities of Love
4Love suffers long, and is kind; love envies not; love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up,
5Does not behave itself rudely, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, keeps no record of evil;
6Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
Love: The Superior Way
4Love is patient, love is kind.  Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited,
5does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs.
6Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth.
7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

New Living Translation
Love Is the Greatest
4Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 
5or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 
6It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 
7Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Aramaic Bible in Plain English
Love is patient and sweet; love does not envy; love is not upset neither puffed up.

King James 2000 Bible
Love suffers long, and is kind; love envies not; love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up,

Holman Christian Standard Bible
Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited,

New Living Translation
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

Verse 4 begins by telling us that love is patient, which another one explains as suffers long.  A couple of these have the word “and” before it says sweet or kind.  (A side note, this is the first time I have read it with the word “sweet” rather than kind.)  To me, as I read this word “and” I take that to mean that while I am patient or suffering long I am also to be kind at the same time.  What?  Be kind and suffer long at the same time?  What does that mean exactly?  How about some examples?
When I’m in line at the DMV I am to smile at others and be encouraging, not join in on the complaining.
When waiting for someone to go somewhere, I am not to tap my foot or drum my fingers on the table.  
When someone is not getting the concept of something and continue to make the same mistake I am to encourage them and not belittle them.
When someone is making an excuse I think is silly, I am not to roll my eyes.

Next in this definition, we see love does not envy or is not jealous.  What does that mean?  An online dictionary defines envy as “a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc.”  Okay, that makes me want to see what “covetousness” means...covetousness, according to the dictionary, means inordinately or wrongly desirous of wealth or possessions; greedy.  The second definition states the meaning as “eagerly desirous.”  

Wow.  This one speaks greatly to some of the social media posts I’ve read lately.  

The first part of the definition is a feeling of discontent.  That would mean it is a problem with self even before anyone else is involved.  Without seeing what other people have, we start with our own discontent.  Wow.  I had never realized that.  

The second part of the definition is we are looking at someone else’s advantages and want them for ourselves; looking at someone else’s success and wanting it for ourselves; or looking at someone else’s possessions and wanting them for ourselves.  

When a friend, coworker, neighbor, spouse, sister, brother, son, daughter, or anyone else has an opportunity that we do not have, instead of thinking how unfair it is that they are offered this and we are not, lets love them by being happy for them.  Say it out loud, “I’m so happy for you.”  Write it down in a note, “I am so happy for you.”  If envy or jealousy begin to rise up, repeat it to yourself that you are happy they were given this opportunity.  Let love overcome.  

Okay, we just discussed that love is not jealous or envious of others’ opportunities, advantages, or wealth.  Now we read that love does not boast, is not proud or puffed up.  What does that mean?

When we love, we do not brag.  We are not self-important, arrogant, or pompous.  This does not necessarily mean that if we have money and nice things that we “rub in the face” of others.  In truth, sometimes when we don’t have what someone else does, we can brag and boast that we don’t have certain advantages in order to make others feel bad for having what they have!  I think a lot of us are arrogant, self-important, and pompous without realizing it.  

Money and possessions do not make us unloving.  In the same way, the lack of money and possessions do not make us loving.  

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 
 
Thanks for reading and learning with me.

Cindy

The Bible verses came from www.BibleHub.com and the definitions came from www.dictionary.com 

  

Saturday, January 21, 2017

A Change In Thoughts, A New Idea

I've been reading posts in Facebook.  I used to enjoy reading posts.  Funny jokes, seeing what my friends and family are up to, positive or life-affirming quotes, and, of course, Bible verses.  Now, it is different.  I have read posts that cause my heart to break.  Not because of illness or weather-related tragedies, but because of language that is revealing of the hearts of people I know (or are known by friends of mine, it is Facebook!).  Does that mean my heart is perfect?  Absolutely not!  My heart is bent toward pride and selfishness and more sins than I care to admit.

We have a new president of the United States.  We will have new people placed in governmental positions.  One thing each of them will need is our prayers.

I am placing an alarm on my phone to remind to pray for the governing leaders of our country.  If you would like to commit to pray with me for our country's leadership, comment and let me know.  However, if you would like to complain or discuss melanin or gossip about people in leadership, this is not the blog for you.

Still living a grace-dependent life,
Cindy  

Sunday, January 8, 2017


This is my first badge for meeting a writing goal.  This was for November 2016.  I'm just getting around to posting it :) 



I've started a new novel and still need to finish the one I was working on during November.  Prayers appreciated.

Also, our GMG (Good Morning Girls) group begins tomorrow, January 9, 2017.  We will be reading 1 Samuel this session.  We read one chapter a day, Monday through Friday.  If you are a Facebook friend and would like to join in on reading, message me and I will be happy to add you to the group.

Still dreaming of going to the ACFW conference...

Peace to you, my dear readers.

Ever grace-dependent,
Cindy