Tuesday, February 28, 2017

What Love Is Not (Part 4 of Love, what is it?)

What Love Is Not...

Love is not...irritable
                   ...provoked
                   ...easily angered

Irritable: Easily irritated or annoyed; readily excited to impatience or anger

Provoked: Angered, enraged, exasperated, or vexed.

Anger: Strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.

When I get the feeling of being “offended” it turns out I’m not living out love.

When I’m easily irritated, I’m not living out love.

When I’m impatient, I’m not living out love.

When I’m acting out on feelings of displeasure, I’m not living out love.

If I’ve been wronged, reacting belligerently is not love.

This is something I need to actively meditate on.  When reading social media and seeing how easily “offended” others are, I get so “irritated” by their silly offenses that I’m not living out love on my part because of my own irritability!

For years when reading these verses from First Corinthians, I read them and held up these standards for other people.  Beginning with my parents.  My parents are not living up to these standards, they must not love me.  Later, I would hold my friends up to these standards and, in my mind, I would tell myself they did not love me because they did not measure up to these standards.  Then, when I got married my husband too fell short of meeting these qualities of love.

One day, the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart that I needed to stop holding other people up to these standards.  I needed to look at myself as I read these Scriptures.  Wow!  I suddenly found the ability to extend grace to all of these other people.  Guess what!  I was not loving others either.  That was humiliating.  Even though I had not discussed any of these things with others, I sat humiliated before God because He knew my heart.  He knew I had held these standards to others even if they never knew.

Below you will find the verses once again.  Thank you for your patience in waiting for this blog entry as it has been two weeks since the last one.

Living grace-dependent,
Cindy

1 Corinthians 13:4-6New Living Translation (NLT)

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6New King James Version (NKJV)

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

1 Corinthians 13:4-6English Standard Version (ESV)

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

1 Corinthians 13:4-6New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Love, What Is It? Part 3

New International Version
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

New Living Translation
or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

English Standard Version
or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

Berean Study Bible
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs.

Berean Literal Bible
It does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek the things of its own, it is not easily provoked, it keeps no account of wrongs.

New American Standard Bible
does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

Holman Christian Standard Bible
does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs.

This week we are looking at the second part of verse 5.

Love is not self-seeking.
Love does not demand its own way.
Love does not insist on its own way.
Love does not seek the things of its own.
Love is not selfish.

Uh-oh...I am in trouble...and I know I’m not alone...Self-seeking...ugh.  I need to “find” myself.  I need to do what makes “me” happy.  Esteem, we are always seeking to bolster our own esteem, aren’t we?

Demanding and insisting on our own way is not love.  Ugh!  I have fallen short on this in towel situation.  A family member thinks they’ve done well for folding the towels.  But guess what!  They aren’t folded in a way that I want them folded so they will fit the way I want them to fit on the shelves.  My insistence in this matter is not loving, is it?

Posts on Facebook where we “brag” on a family member but the words “me,” “my,” “I,” and “mine” outnumber the mentions of whatever it is we are bragging about in the post.  Pretty selfish, huh?

Selfish:
devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself

I cannot even count the selfish thoughts I’ve had today.  I don’t even recall how many of thoughts I acted upon!  So selfish am I that I cannot begin to guess how deeply selfish I am.

Just today:
I was late on a commitment–selfish.
I didn’t put away my mat and weights until several hours following my workout–selfish.
I spent time on Facebook instead of getting started on this blog entry–selfish.
I got myself something to drink without asking anyone else in the house if they would like a drink–selfish.
I got myself some grapes without asking if anyone else would like to eat some grapes–selfish.
Pulling out all of my shirts from the closet I only put four in the give-away bag–selfish.  (Selfish in not donating more and selfish in not freeing up more closet space.)

How many more acts did I perform today that I did not even notice?  Hundreds, I’m sure.  Does that sound like an exaggeration?   Think of how many minutes are in the day...how many of those minutes were spent thinking about self, not too much of an exaggeration was it?

Love is not selfish.
Love does not seek its own wants and desires.
Love is not demanding or insistent on getting its own way.

I have a lot of work to do.  Thank God He is patient :)    


Saturday, February 4, 2017

Love - What Is It? (part 2)

Love - What is it, exactly?

I am not going to try to do the whole of verse 5.  I think I tried to cover too much when I shared verse 4.  I will probably go back to that at a later date and break it down even more.

Again, I’m sharing multiple versions of one verse (which I got from BibleHub.com) and sharing definitions of the words used each of the versions (which I got from Dictionary.com)

New International Version
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

New Living Translation
or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

English Standard Version
or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

Berean Study Bible
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs.

Berean Literal Bible
It does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek the things of its own, it is not easily provoked, it keeps no account of wrongs.

New American Standard Bible
does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

King James Bible
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Holman Christian Standard Bible
does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs.

Aramaic Bible in Plain English
Love does not commit what is shameful, neither does it seek its own; it is not provoked, neither does it entertain evil thoughts,

Rude, dishonor, improper, unseemly, unbecomingly, and shameful are examples of what love is not.  What do these words mean?

Rude
-discourteous or impolite - especially in a deliberate way
-rough in manners or behaviors, unmannerly, uncouth
-rough, harsh, or ungentle
-harsh to the ear

So we could say love is
-courteous or polite especially in a deliberate way
-mannerly
-cheerful, pleasant, gentle
-pleasing, calm, or kind to the ear

Dishonor
-lack or loss of honor; disgraceful or dishonest character or conduct
-disgrace; shame
-an indignity; insult
-cause shame or disgrace

So we could say love is
-honoring; graceful and honest in character and conduct
-graceful; without shame
-dignity; approving, kind, respectful
-causes no shame or disgrace
Improper
-not proper; not strictly belonging, applicable, correct, etc.; erroneous
-not in accordance with propriety of behavior, manners, etc.
-unsuitable or inappropriate, as for the purpose or occasion
-abnormal or irregular

So we could say love is
-proper; belonging; without error
-agreeable or correct of behavior, manners, etc.

unseemly
-not seemly; not in keeping with established standards of taste or proper form; unbecoming in appearance, speech, conduct, etc.
-inappropriate for time or place
-detracting from one’s appearance, character, or reputation; unattractive or unseemly

So we could say love is
-decent, fitting, of good taste; becoming in appearance, speech, conduct, etc.
-appropriate for time or place
unbecomingly
-adding to one’s appearance, character, or reputation; attractive or seemly

shameful
-causing shame
-disgraceful or scandalous

So we could say love is
-not causing shame
-graceful and not scandalous

This is huge!  There is no “except” in this verse!  Can you believe it?

We are not to be rude even if we are experiencing PMS or hot-flashes.  We are not to dishonor or be disrespectful even when we are irritable.  If someone is acting in a way that is unbecoming, we are suppose to answer in a way that is becoming.  When someone tries to shame us we are to answer with grace.

Wow.

When we fail and the Holy Spirit brings our response to our attention, what do we do?  Continue because it’s too late?  No.  We stop in our tracks.  We turn from that path and turn toward Jesus, to grace.  We extend grace.

Respect those with whom you disagree.
Speak honorably to those who are standing in line with you.
Speak kindly with those in the “other” political party.
Be polite to those of different religions.

This is love...